we're having a baby!

so here's some news.. WE'RE HAVING A LITTLE HUMAN! 

i can't believe this is the first time i've sat down to write about it all.. i guess i'm still taking it all in if i'm honest? it's the most surreal, exciting and straight up terrifying thing we've ever experienced but at the same time it feels like everything has fallen into place for james and i.

so where to start? we've always wanted to be parents but we'd both happily admit we liked our way of life. we have our own home and career independence, enjoyed booking last minute impulsive holidays and often felt like we weren't quite ready to make those scary grown up decisions. however after we got engaged on NYE we started to talk about having a baby much more.. we used to joke about having left it too late approaching our mid 30's and we'd never get round to it but now here we are.. officially parents in the making YIKES! 

at the minute i feel super positive most days, i'm finding the second trimester so much easier. i have to admit the first was not a breeze but it wasn't horrendous either. the nausea can certainly get you down and make you irritable but i kept telling myself to be grateful because some people undoubtedly have it worse. weirdly it was the tiredness that took me by surprise the most, i've never experienced such crazy levels of fatigue, i really struggled to get any work done in the day (which made me feel hugely lazy especially as we were in the process of renovating our bathroom and kitchen!) i can't tell you how nice it is to have those rooms finished so now we can get on with planning a nursery and finishing the smaller jobs before the baby arrives..

the other thing that sucked most about the first trimester was keeping the world's biggest secret, i was desperate to tell anyone that would listen that i was pregnant. if anyone looked anywhere near my stomach i was convinced they knew and found myself debating whether to confess all and pray for forgiveness for telling so many lies..! i can't tell you how nice it is to be able to finally share what's been gong on with everyone.

i've definitely had some moments in the last few months, saying goodbye to most of my favourite but now ill fitting warbrobe options has been frustrating. being around friends and family who aren't pregnant can at times feel a bit lonely (mostly when i'm socialising and can't drink) but i'll chalk most of that down to raging hormones. 

our little bundle of fun is due on valentines day (isn't that the cutest due date ever?) i'm already excited and emotional about christmas with my family this year, even if i can't get my mitts on any mulled wine. we've not read any baby books yet (that's next on the agenda) and we've definitely avoided birthing horror stories that will freak us out aha! (i really want to take each day as it comes and be as chilled about the next few months as possible.) lately we've found ourselves wandering around baby shops in various stages of confusion and anticipation. i mean there is SO much stuff! prams, cots, car seats..  after a while they all start to look the same and we have no idea what we're doing but we'll figure it out. plus we've just started looking at baby clothes (which is v. exciting ahhhhh) 

i can't wait to share more of what's happening with you guys, there won't be many baby related posts just the odd update here and there for anyone who is curious. i'm certainly not planning on changing the direction of my content but it would feel strange to exclude the fact that my life will be different from now on.

and yes the wedding is still happening.. we'll just be adding a little VIP to the guestlist!!

back soon

caroline x